High Horses N Pulpits!!

Today the dusty halls of Stoned Holy HQ are in tumult! The clamorous sound of High Horses & Pulpits being climbed onto & into is to be heard echoing off granite walls. Righteous Indignation, it seems, is abroad! Wherein lies the source of all this ferment I hear you ask. Well, Good Users of the Blogosphere, today our very own Democratically Unelected Prime Minister sought to redefine 'Capitalism' for all us poor and huddled masses!!

Well, I nearly fell off the chaise-longue where I get to spend many of my dreary hours of Pop-Slop-Zero Failuredom! Once in my Green Youth, when my keen young eyes sparkled, I read of a spectre Haunting Europe & dreamt of Futures Bright....these days I rest my Middle-Aged Beer-Gut on the aforementioned piece of furniture and I read the newspaper so as to enflame the Burning Bile of Bitterness which eats away at my Tender-Stoned-Holy-Heart and consumes my slowly diminishing regard for the Human Race and all it's Deplorable & Lamentable Doings! It's not easy being a Pop-Slop-Nobody y'know...casting Pearls Before Swine really takes it out of a body, let me tell you! Oh, you don't know the half of it!!

But to the task at hand, Gentle Readers. The 'task' being to pour vitriole upon the couiffured little head of our very own, wholly pre-fabricated, one-size-fits-all Numero Uno and his latest venture into 'Blue-Sky-Thinking' or whatever it is they're now calling their own brand of idiotic, pseudo-intellectualism down Downing Street way.  'Popular Capitalism' is what the Tomato-Faced, Eton Educated Dimwit has decided to sell to us as a vision of the future! I'm sure you can see right away that all those tens of thousands of pounds Mr. Cameron Senior lavished on the 'education' of the Fruit of his Stockbroking Loins was not wasted! A New, Cuddly Teddy Bear kind of Capitalism where people are 'Nice' to one another as opposed to the 'Turbo-Capitalism' of the Blair & Brown years - How Marvellous! Has the World gone completely mad? Did I really just hear a Tory Prime Minister trying to put down Labour as the Party of Unfettered, Uncaring Capitalism?!?! Now I know, Mr. Cameron is a Personality Black-Hole and little more than a Ventriloquist's Dummy for the Avaricious Puppeteers of the City but this really takes the biscuit. Yes we know the Pitiful, Toadying, Little Turd is a Virtual Blank Page who believes in nothing other than his God-given right to be at the helm of H.M.S Britannia, yes we know he lives by the Auto-Cue and would say anything his team of Media Advisors asked of him if it meant one more meaningless sound-bite played out in the Pantomime that is Prime Minister's Questions, but asking us to buy into the crackpot notion of a new-improved, soft-centred Capitalism as the mechanism whereby we are airlifted out of these squally waters of Economic Difficulty in which we are currently immersed, is a new level of utter ridiculousness even for him and his Silver-Spooned, Cherubic Whipping Boy Mr. Gideon Osborne!! I know Mr. Cameron's and his Party's view of the Great Unwashed is pretty low but just how credulous does he think people are?!?! The answer, of course, is very.

There's even been talk of stripping Mr.Fred Goodwin (he of the monstrously inflated pay-off) of his knighthood. Does this man have his finger on the pulse of the nation, or what?! Here is a man who would not take it anymore! Ah, how the Avenging Sword of Justice strikes another blow for the Bankrupt whilst the Morally Bankrupt System that Spawned all the Little Frankensteins heaves on!! It seems this House of Cards is not for falling just yet!! We're all in this together after all, is what we're constantly being told. Belts are being tightened in the Cameron household, I'm sure. Which household is another question ; the recently upgraded one in Witney, Oxfordshire or the one that came with Mrs. C and her dowry on the Isle of Jura?.....& let's not forget his little bolt-hole in Westminster, temporary lease notwithstanding!! Yes, I'm sure they're feeling the pinch there as much as they are on the 19th floor of the high-rise in Leeds or Liverpool or Glasgow!!!

It's getting late, Good People of the CyberNetic NetherWorld, and even curmudgeonly old geezers like the StonedHolyBlogger have gotta sleep!! Hypnos, I call unto thee. Come, Morpheus and ease me into thy Velvet Kingdom! And Sleep, that Shuts Up Sorrows Eye, Felicit Me Awhile From Mine Own Company!!

SWEET DREAMS YOU THEORISERS & PHILOSOPHISERS!!