The Cursed Leaf!!

Spring is in the air! This very morrow I sallied forth from the sheltering portals and ramshackle walls of Stoned Holy HQ and partook of the invigorating and diesel particulate enriched airs which encircle its venerable and mossed walls. Verily, did I glory in the life giving energies of the sun as they kissed my troubled brows. Gratefully, I filled the Stoned Holy Lung Bags and felt the sap rising in me old Stoned Holy Bonesticks! Being a capricious soul I was overtaken by the sudden urge, nay, need to rudely grab this One Time Wonderlife by the scruff of its glorious neck and gie it a damn guid shoogle!! Time to shuffle off these Wintertime Suspended Animation Blues I told myself....but quickly I discerned the major stumbling block to my making good on this endeavour ; the Stoned Holy Pockets contained nothing but fluff!! Ah wiz skint!!!

What tragedies our humble little lives contain! What low intensities our life candles burn at before they finally fizzle out! And how doth it profit one to know that we ourselves, humankind, breathed life into that which oppresses us, called forth into being the inexorable force we allow to crush us!! Our Frankenstein Monster is MONEY!

Cash. Moolah. Dosh. Folding...Call it what you may, but there's no denying how it holds sway over the very minutes and hours of our one time shot at this 'Life' mallarkey! Whether it's in the spending of it, the considerably lengthier time frittered away in the getting of it, or indeed, the fetishistic hoarding of it, Money constitutes so much of our allotted time experiencing livingness! What explosions of Spirituality & Creativity will be unleashed when finally we unshackle ourselves from the prisons money has trapped us in. Cities will be Psychedelic, Entrancing Delights! The fields and pastures will be ours to frolic in! Sadly, for now, it limits & Contains us! Restricts & Obstructs us! Degrades & Corrupts us! Diminishes & Belittles us! And, yes, ironically, robs us....For even if you haven't got one lousy, worthless brass fukn ha'penny or one red cent to your name, Money STILL manages to steal from you!

Given that a crime has been committed, the S t o n E D H o L Y b L o G G e r here enquires as to who precisely shall be prosecuted. Is it they who exploit our labours directly and put the excess in their own bank accounts? Is it the thieves and pickpockets of Government who do so much to frame paradigms, create circumstance and polish glass ceilings? Or is it their puppet masters, who pull their strings, their paymasters who bid them dance to their tune but are themselves slaves to their dehumanising obsession of Profit!!

How to free ourselves from Capital's fetters, to heal ourselves of Capital's cancer? Are we, the great mass of humankind, doomed to pitiable lives inside the cocoon money has woven around us? Are we content to subsist as the soulless elites live lives unimaginable? Do we sit cowed and compliant as we wait for the crumbs to fall from the table of our masters? Do we resign ourselves stoically to pain and misery as the poison that is money maims and deforms our societies?  How best to play this Money-game whereby all can benefit and not just the sordid, twisted, aberrant elites who debase & debauch themselves atop their gargantuan piles of ill-gotten, flesh-rotting, soul-corroding lucre ?!?! Answers on a postcard, dear readers......but keep it short, for heaven's sake. Having once attempted tae plough through the stoney soil that fills the pages of 'Das Kapital'   I can tell you that reading about The Cursed Leaf is nearly as nauseating as sniffing aw the shit yiv gottae sniff just tae get hold of some of the stuff in the first place!! The S t O n e d H o L y b L o G g E R , though but a humble songsmith, feels that when hunger strikes it's time to put down the book, however educational and enrichening, grab yir gittybox and start rawkin' pavements instead!

'You may say I'm a dreamer...but I'm not the only one.'  And I content myself with the thought that we Dreamers are the seed that will break & bloom from within this putrid shitpile! And the flowering has began! Spring is with us.....and I detect a little bit of it in every step I take with my brown suede beetlecrushers!!

High Horses N Pulpits!!

Today the dusty halls of Stoned Holy HQ are in tumult! The clamorous sound of High Horses & Pulpits being climbed onto & into is to be heard echoing off granite walls. Righteous Indignation, it seems, is abroad! Wherein lies the source of all this ferment I hear you ask. Well, Good Users of the Blogosphere, today our very own Democratically Unelected Prime Minister sought to redefine 'Capitalism' for all us poor and huddled masses!!

Well, I nearly fell off the chaise-longue where I get to spend many of my dreary hours of Pop-Slop-Zero Failuredom! Once in my Green Youth, when my keen young eyes sparkled, I read of a spectre Haunting Europe & dreamt of Futures Bright....these days I rest my Middle-Aged Beer-Gut on the aforementioned piece of furniture and I read the newspaper so as to enflame the Burning Bile of Bitterness which eats away at my Tender-Stoned-Holy-Heart and consumes my slowly diminishing regard for the Human Race and all it's Deplorable & Lamentable Doings! It's not easy being a Pop-Slop-Nobody y'know...casting Pearls Before Swine really takes it out of a body, let me tell you! Oh, you don't know the half of it!!

But to the task at hand, Gentle Readers. The 'task' being to pour vitriole upon the couiffured little head of our very own, wholly pre-fabricated, one-size-fits-all Numero Uno and his latest venture into 'Blue-Sky-Thinking' or whatever it is they're now calling their own brand of idiotic, pseudo-intellectualism down Downing Street way.  'Popular Capitalism' is what the Tomato-Faced, Eton Educated Dimwit has decided to sell to us as a vision of the future! I'm sure you can see right away that all those tens of thousands of pounds Mr. Cameron Senior lavished on the 'education' of the Fruit of his Stockbroking Loins was not wasted! A New, Cuddly Teddy Bear kind of Capitalism where people are 'Nice' to one another as opposed to the 'Turbo-Capitalism' of the Blair & Brown years - How Marvellous! Has the World gone completely mad? Did I really just hear a Tory Prime Minister trying to put down Labour as the Party of Unfettered, Uncaring Capitalism?!?! Now I know, Mr. Cameron is a Personality Black-Hole and little more than a Ventriloquist's Dummy for the Avaricious Puppeteers of the City but this really takes the biscuit. Yes we know the Pitiful, Toadying, Little Turd is a Virtual Blank Page who believes in nothing other than his God-given right to be at the helm of H.M.S Britannia, yes we know he lives by the Auto-Cue and would say anything his team of Media Advisors asked of him if it meant one more meaningless sound-bite played out in the Pantomime that is Prime Minister's Questions, but asking us to buy into the crackpot notion of a new-improved, soft-centred Capitalism as the mechanism whereby we are airlifted out of these squally waters of Economic Difficulty in which we are currently immersed, is a new level of utter ridiculousness even for him and his Silver-Spooned, Cherubic Whipping Boy Mr. Gideon Osborne!! I know Mr. Cameron's and his Party's view of the Great Unwashed is pretty low but just how credulous does he think people are?!?! The answer, of course, is very.

There's even been talk of stripping Mr.Fred Goodwin (he of the monstrously inflated pay-off) of his knighthood. Does this man have his finger on the pulse of the nation, or what?! Here is a man who would not take it anymore! Ah, how the Avenging Sword of Justice strikes another blow for the Bankrupt whilst the Morally Bankrupt System that Spawned all the Little Frankensteins heaves on!! It seems this House of Cards is not for falling just yet!! We're all in this together after all, is what we're constantly being told. Belts are being tightened in the Cameron household, I'm sure. Which household is another question ; the recently upgraded one in Witney, Oxfordshire or the one that came with Mrs. C and her dowry on the Isle of Jura?.....& let's not forget his little bolt-hole in Westminster, temporary lease notwithstanding!! Yes, I'm sure they're feeling the pinch there as much as they are on the 19th floor of the high-rise in Leeds or Liverpool or Glasgow!!!

It's getting late, Good People of the CyberNetic NetherWorld, and even curmudgeonly old geezers like the StonedHolyBlogger have gotta sleep!! Hypnos, I call unto thee. Come, Morpheus and ease me into thy Velvet Kingdom! And Sleep, that Shuts Up Sorrows Eye, Felicit Me Awhile From Mine Own Company!!

SWEET DREAMS YOU THEORISERS & PHILOSOPHISERS!!