30 Years of Apathy, Pathos n Delusion!!

Has it really been over a month since last I sat in the StonedHolyComputerSuite with fingertips flashing across the black, plastic keys struggling to stay abreast with the rancourous n fevered outpourings from the embittered StonedHolyBrainPan?? My, doesn't time fly when yir enjoyin' yirsel....& don't it fuckin drag something awful when yir life is one long, dreary, penniless & uneventful yawn!!! I would be happy to report that I have spent the interim period between my visitations to the Computer Generated Blogosphere, deflowering young and impressionable young ladies and immersing myself in sundry voluptuary excesses....but sadly I cannot!!!

Our StonedHolyBrother, Mr. Mojo Risin may have girded on the snakeskin breeks & declared the Palace of Wisdom to be accessible only from the Road of Excess, but it may be instructional to remember that he didnae grow up a Repressed Catholic Idiot in a Small-Minded Presbyterian Pisshole like wot the  SToneDHOLybLoGGer done! Still, we've aw got oor burdens tae bear, huv we no?....& if it hudnae been for Heaven-Sent Movers n Shakers like Brother Jim reaching out from the Hallowed Groove that is the first DOORS Long Playing Record to inform woefully Outtatouch n Outtastep Teenage Dreamers like masel that even WE could Break On Through To The Other Side, then who knows where ahd be ; a rotund, broken doon, middle aged wanker lookin at Japanese Girlies on the Tinternet no doubt.....hod oan there, Boabby.....I fuckin' am that anywayz!!!!

"Can you picture what we'll be, so limitless & free..." Oh, how those words reverberated within the cavernous and to all extent, practically empty (if you discount images of Buxom German Frauleins & thoughts of Beer!) chamber of the Stoned n Holy MindBox. Of course, lookin back from this vantage point - gained, it must be said, by way of far too many nights-in reading the works of Herman Melville and engaging in acts of self-pollution - I can clearly see now how I have singularly failed to live up to it's promise or challenge!! I have spent a life cutting myself short, holding myself back, hemmed in by the mundane ordinariness of life. Maybe that's better than finding maself full of Heroin in a Bathtub in Paris at 27.......but who's to say who got the better deal. Ahv never been tae Paris!!!

So let's get this shit sorted oot - If it hudnae been for me listening tae the Doors n huvvin my Teenage Firebrand Hopes raised n stimulated by aw that talk of fabulously exotic females & their Fingers Weaving Quick Minarets & Speaking Secret Alphabets ah coulda been in the pub right now with aw the other dejected, middle aged losers talkin aboot fitbaw n other such desperate, tragic garbage............mmmmmmm. Maybe it's true, ma Fuckin Crystal Ship huznae exactly been Filled With a Thousand Girls or a Thousand Thrills but after 30 years of Apathy, Pathos n Delusion I think I can still honestly say it's aw been worth it!!! And at least I'm in a position to grow old disgracefully - Jim Morrison never got that option.........

We're aw Riders on the Storm.....
Actors oot on loan.....
Dugs withoot a Bone!!!

Going Gentle Into That Good Night!

Ah Youth! Entirely wasted on the young, of course, but what can a Pop-Slop-N-Flop Down n Out like the S t O n E d H o L y B L o G g E r do about the inexorable tick & tock that is the sound of the Tyranny of Clocks!!

But yes, it seems this rock n roll mallarkey is a young man's game :  For when better to play the game of 'making it' or being 'big in Japan' and yet be blissfully unaware of how tawdry and cynical a business it really is ; When better to devote your energies to the narcissistic business of climbing onto a stage and demanding people take you seriously ; When better to feel the burn of the sexual imperative in every fibre of your being ; when better to be willing to live on a diet of pot noodles and the assorted garbage that is available for consumption at motorway service stations & finally, when better to climb in the back of a van with the rest of the gang and tolerate endless hours of discomfort and beery farts!

But here, a word of caution - "Know This, O Young Ambition, All Mortal Greatness Is But Disease." Chilling lines there from the briny and melancholic pages of 'Moby Dick' but perhaps fortunately, most Rockin Rollin Young Bucks wouldn't know their Herman Melville from their Herman Munster!....

Surprising then, you may think, that the fires here at S t o n e d H o l y H.Q still burn and we play on! Broken Doon n Middle Aged maybeez but these Rollers are still Stoned n Holy....to a fashion! Yes, the waistlines have imperceptibly crept up a size or two, the hair thinned a little on the top of our Stoned Holy Noggins and yes, it does seem that we are indeed  Going Gentle Into That Good Night! And as for the Raging ; well, all apologies to drunken Welsh poets, dead n gone before they hit 40, but it's all very well writing about Raging when yir tanked up on whisky but some of us have still gotta go to the supermarket when we're low on muesli and Greek yoghurt! Lasagne doesnae put itself in the oven now, does it?!?! The car needs road tax renewing and petrol in the tank to run!!...So take that, Mr.D Thomas of Laugharne, Wales!!

But the Rage and the Righteous Indignation are there, smouldering away someplace inside. Somehow, impossibly, after all these years spent in the Sensory Deprivation Tank that is Home Town, the fires burn still. And that is why these feelings of Impotence and Frustration can still take hold and sting the heart within this mortal coil - When you find yirsel whiling away the dreary & penniless hours doing anything but actually playing music, all too aware of diminishing returns and the reality of the cold, cold grave creeping ever nearer as you struggle to strike a balance between the conflicting concerns of five or six middle aged losers and what they like to do in their spare time away from the mundane business of doing mundane jobs and paying mundane mortgages and mundane electricity bills! Oh for the heddy days of youth when childcare and the endless yawn of social functions never entered the equation. I grow weary, my friends. Someday, I hope to find me some place where I can lay me down & rest my head & ease my mind and sing the 
No Mo' Trouble Blues. A secret hideaway, a leafy bower of a kind, somewhere you can leave all your troubles behind.

 Who the fuck would choose the life of the Stoned Holy Roller? Only an idiot like me.............

Prithee, Your Indulgence, Good Fellows!

Good Day to all you Screen-Starers out there in CyberUnRealityWorld! If you have, in the course of your peregrinations through cyberspace, inadvertently stumbled upon the Stoned Holy Roller's Heaven sent Blog of Pulpit-Style Ravings, you're probably thinking it all appears somewhat amateurish, if not downright tawdry, a little bit 'thin' in terms of content - And you, oh most discerning viewer, would be right!

Stoned Holy Rollers are so last century, it's true, but we are endeavouring, most earnestly, to rectify matters. The rarified atmosphere of the Blogosphere is all new to us, so our hope is you can cut us a bit of virtual slack whilst we acclimatise ourselves to our Brave New World surroundings.

Unfortunately, the Real World does have the rather nasty habit of interfering in this process with it's insistent, if not downright incessant, demands upon one's Time & Wallet! Carpet Cleaner doesnae buy itself after all!

Herman Melville once claimed you could write the Gospels anew and still be forced to live in the gutter and Stoned Holy Rollers are, as we speak, engaged in somewhat demeaning and soul-destroying menial tasks in their alternate lives as Downtrodden Wage Slaves tossed Hither & Thither upon cruel Free Market Capitalist Seas!

So, it's your indulgence we crave....if not the odd bob or two if you catch us on the street, rockin' pavements! We do hope to improve our blogging skills in the weeks & months ahead & hopefully provide you massed screen-starers out there with an entertaining titbit or two to enliven your worldwideweb experience.

This Life can be a Gas. Strike Your Match. Ka-Boooom!!
This is yir Friendly, Neighbourhood StonedHolyBlogger signing off....
Over N Oot Fur The Noo!