Toxic Emissions & Tragic Erections!!

Perchance, in one of these Parallel Universes that we are informed could be out there, I am currently in the company of a voluptuous lady with corkscrew curls who rehabilitates orphaned dolphins and we are planning our 'togetherness ceremony' in the Maldives! Or, perchance in another my musical strivings have, not only been recognised, but validated too and I am currently recording my fifteenth studio album - a celebration of the 13th Floor Elevators using only baroque instrumentation!

Sadly, in the miserable, Pile-Of-Keek Universe I actually get to drag my sorry Stoned Holy Derriere around in, neither of the above are true! Consequently, I am forced to do other things to escape the Hellhound on ma Trail. And so it was I found myself reading the newspaper. For one such as the S T O n E d h o L y b L o g g e R and his sense of moral repugnance and righteous indignation with so much of the sorrowful doings of much of his brethren, this is always a mistake! Spare me the cack-psychology ; of course I know I do it deliberately! In the want of something real in my failed pop-slop life I have no option but to touch the burning coals or stir up some gut-churning bout of dyspepsia to distract me from my own lamentable failure to prosper in the world!

And thus it was I read of one Gideon George Osbourne, our soullessly dogmatic and mathematically inept Chancellor of the Exchequer. A man, who, it must be seen, has 'done no' too bad' in this world! Of course, he did have a rather privileged headstart on the rest of us...but Daddy must be so proud!

But, Oh, Brave New World, that has such people in it!! Just where do you start with a disgusting little shadow of a man like Osborne?! "Britain' according to this pitifully malformed excuse for a human being 'has got its mojo back" after bombing Syria!!

Leaving aside the ridiculous idea that this fucking abortion thinks he can, or could ever, speak for Britain, someone needs to tell him that Britain is an abstract noun and doesn't actually exist...except in the minds of men. Men like him! Men like him, emotionally wounded in childhood. Men like him who were schooled by a crippling and deforming lack of love and affection. Men like him who are sociopaths and don't know how to feel, don't know how to empathise, can't begin to imagine what it must be like for death and terror to fall out of the sky and destroy your family, your home, your community. your world, your life!! No, Mr. Osborne, Britain does not, cannot possibly have, a mojo, or anyfuckingthing else for that matter, because Britain is a WORD!! A word used by grotesque little creeps like YOU and those like you to aggrandise the sordid little schemes and constructs they fill their time with. Why, oh why, can these twisted, failed human mutants simply not FUCK OFF and leave the rest of us alone??!! Why can't Osborne take his wallpaper millions and piss off to somewhere in the world where he can debase himself?  He must, after all, have some seriously debased sexual fantasies swirling around in the oozing putrescence that passes for a brain inside his skull seeing as he's so clearly turned on by the thoughts of Britain's big powerful bombs doing damage in Syria! You can perfectly imagine the shrivelled little Osborne root stirring itself into life at the thought of those bombs dropping. British bombs! Precision bombs! His bombs! Mojo bombs...oh, yeah, baby!!

And, another thing, where the fuck does this nauseating walking turd of a man get off using words like 'mojo', anyway?!  Let's get this straight, it would not have mattered what words he used because what he said was despicable, hateful, pompous, glib & perverted....but to use the language of voodoo and the blues??!! Puh-leeeze!! It sent a distinctly icy shiver down the Stoned Holy Spinebone! The language of Lightning Hopkins & Muddy Waters does not fit easily into the mouth of some Eton educated posh boy glorying in death & destruction!! Mr.Osborne, I'll wager, couldn't tell you what a mojo was in a month of Sundays....or the time it takes a plane to cover the distance between Britain and Syria!

Enough! Man, this vitriol is eating me up....ah need the healing power of Blues to lift my weary, troubled soul! Maybeez ah'll go down to Louisiana and get myself a Mojo-Hand...gonna put some Black Cat Bone and some John the Conquer Root into my Trick-Bag.......douse the lot in Van Van Oil.....got me some Graveyard Dirt and some Goofer Dust.... and now ahm gonna start pushin' pins into a little wax maquette of Gideon George Osborne!!!

Tidings of Comfort & Joy? Not Likely!!

'Snow is falling all around me. children playing, having fun.' These, the heartwarming if not intellectually stimulating, triflings sung way back in '85 by Shakin' Stevens, one time Elvis imitator and purveyor of  Pop-Slop....& long before the SToNedhOLybLOgGEr
finally bowed to bitter reality and, realising that
Pop Stardom would never be mine, settled down to life as a splenetic Punk Rock Dog casting a skeptical n sneering eye on the Inanities & Insanities of Evolution's Human Experiment! But let us shoogle free of Self Pity's Iron Hold, at least for now, for this is Christmas 2015, and it isn't snow that's falling but BOMBS!! British bombs falling on Syria! Children will most assuredly NOT be playing nor having fun!

Such was the depth of our democratically unelected leader, Mr. Cameron's concern for those poor Syrian people that planes were dispatched with almost indecent haste the moment the votes were in! Our Thunderous Instruments of Terror must have been in readiness on the runway, for soon they had 'Slipped the Surly Bonds of Earth', payloads heavy, the sound of M.P's cheering in their wake!!

Once the only thing moving across the skies above the Middle East was that fabled 'star of wonder, star of night'.....what would those Oriental Kings think today if casting their gaze heavenwards?  British jets coming not with Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh but Death, Misery & Destruction! It's lucky Joseph and Mary were looking for shelter when they were ; any young couple today looking for somewhere for the heavily pregnant wife to rest and pop out a babe in swaddling would find not only the manger and stable but the whole damn town reduced to rubble!

One must wonder how a man, who, not even a month ago, hung his head low in mock solemnity to show us all how he valued the lives sacrificed in two world wars, is now champing at the bit to send today's young men off to do or die. Though the Stoned Holy Memory Banks are by no means fully functional, due, it must be admitted, more to the ravages of time than any deterioration brought on by years of Rawkinrollin' excess, I can see the pudding faced, sanctimonious little shit now, standing at the Cenotaph with his poppy proudly displayed, his appropriately sullen expression showing us all how he, unlike that impious Corbyn fellow, fully understood what all those unimaginable lives had been lost over and the loss and anguish experienced by their families!!

Britain's youngest ever M.P, Mhairi Black, tweeted how she would "never forget the noise of some Labour and Tories cheering together at the idea of bombs falling." The same Parliament, it must be remembered, that also cheered the outbreak of the 1st World War. And yet, from our vantage point of almost a hundred years since the meaningless, mechanised slaughter of millions finally came to an end, I think most people would struggle to tell you what it was all about!  Perhaps, long years hence, when  Mr. Cameron himself and his vainglorious bullshit have long since departed this world and few are around to remember just how much of a puffed up, self-important, self-aggrandising little prick he was, Miss Black can cast a world weary eye back to these very days we find ourselves living through and try to explain what the hell was going on to incredulous students of history!

Such are the Prime Minister's appalling hypocrisies, that in little short of a month he will once again be in sombre mood as he marks the birth of a child in the Middle East.  Phrases such  as 'Joy On Earth' & 'Goodwill to All Men' shall tumble cosily from his mouth. They shall be of nothing! They shall be counterfeit! They shall be but a meaningless rote repeated parrot fashion by an empty headed, heartless, insincere bullshitter! The garbage doubletalk of a political chiseller and fraud!!

Perhaps 'Mr. Ca-Moron' could listen to Shakin' Stevens again to finally understand that Christmas is "the season for Love & Understanding...Merry Christmas Everyone!"  If a dodgy Elvis impersonator from Cardiff gets it, you'd think the privileged son of a stockbroker, who had the best education this rotten ship H.M.S Britannia can offer lavished on him at great expense, could do likewise!!

Let the last words go to neither Cameron or, indeed, Shaky but our Stoned Holy Roller gone before us, Brother Jimi Hendrix. A true Message of Love for any Christmas but poignantly, it seems, for this one especially ;

"When the Power of Love

Overcomes the Love of Power,

the World will know Peace!"

Hallelujah, Sweet Brother, Jimi!!

  

Military Interventions & Orgone Energy!!

Picking up the newspaper today (always a mistake for someone so deeply disenchanted with the world and its long, long litany of  Tragedies & Farces as myself) I  read that Top Tory Toff, David Cameron,  is rattling his little, self-important sabre and talking big about once more letting slip those ever-slobbering Dogs of War as war with Syria looms. Pausing only for the briefest of seconds to ponder the Cameron sabre and wonder if in any fucked up sexual sublimation deal this is standing in for his little bitty member for Witney who gets to play once, maybe twice a year!!! Yiv gotta wonder after all if Wilhemn Reich, Orgone & Orgasm Obsessed Kooky Kat that he was, was hitting nails firmly on the sweet spot when he posited that Society´s and the Individuals Dysfunctions were both rooted in Sexual Dysfunction........mmmm, well, let us ponder......

Interesting to note then, by way of  Reich and his Theories of Sexual Dysfunction, that according to studies by the U.S Department of Veteran Affairs, over 70% of military women are raped whilst serving and 90% report being sexually harassed!! Maybeez this madman Reich was onto something..........ponder on, ponderers!

But back to Military Intervention in Syria. Now, it may or may not weigh sixteen hundred tons, as Joe Strummer once declaimed in "White Man in Hammersmith Palais", but, Goddam, everyone must know what a fine, upstanding body the British Army is ; comprised as it is of individuals whose ethical & moral standards are unquestionably of the highest calibre!! Lemme tell ya people, Rectitude & Probity are understatements!!   No wonder then, that it´s time to oil all them mechanical linkages in their arsenal of war machines and lace on the desert boots, as these Saints & Angels prepare for the possibility of  once again rolling amidst a huge dust cloud into the Middle East in their God-Given Role of  Judge & Jury to anyone out there who we´ve decided isn´t very nice and needs a damn good sorting out!!......n here´s me thinking they were just a bunch of thick, working class knuckleheads who couldn´t think of a better way of getting outta dreary hometowns than volunteering to be the unthinking, ersatz bully boys for nice, civilised, bourgeois politicians who´s howling hypocrisies mean they could never actually stomp on anybody´s head themselves!!

So, nasty Mr. Assad has to be sorted out, right?  I mean, he´s used chemical weapons! The bounder! Everyone knows that the proper way to kill people is to blow a hole in their chest from a mile and a half away with an assault rifle! Light Them Up, Boys!! Even better, interject some serious alienation and disassociation into the deal and get some nerd raised on computer games to sit in an ¨´Operations Room´ a thousand miles from where the shit´s actually gonna hit the fan and get him to engage in some ´precision bombing´and drop some serious fuckin ordnance from a drone sitting five miles up in the sky! That´s the right way to do it, isn´t it??!!....and legal too!!

The s t O N e D H o l Y B l o g g E r maybe just a penniless, put upon Punk Rock Dog but don´t you agree with him that the phoney morality of all this might be kinda funny if it weren´t for the fact that it´s simply fuckin sickening!!

But who can doubt that we need to steam in tae Syria n kick some Arab butt.....after all, here's one we done earlier - the  marvellous job perpetrated on Iraq! Once a poor, benighted people under the boot of that most disagreeable, moustachioed blackguard, Saddam Hussein, Iraq now enjoys the benefits of Democracy ; imposed, be it as it may, at the end of rather a lot of smoking barrels!! But yes, thanks to our onslaught of military hardware its peoples now enjoy a level of civil polity and highly cultured living that serves as a shining beacon to all the regimes which skirt its borders!! It´s amazing the change a million tons of high explosive can bring about, aint it??!! Yes, it´s true, there was a little itsy-bitsy bit of ´collateral damage´ but getting rid of Hussein was worth over a million dead, was it not?! Not too sure if the answer would be the same if you asked over 5 Million Iraqi Orphans!!!

Time to Fight War Not Wars & Take the Toys From the Boys, methinks!


The last words can go to Mr. Wilhelm Reich.....maybeez he wiznae sae kooky after all!!

"Only the Liberation of the Natural Capacity for LOVE in Human Beings Can Master their Sadistic Destructiveness!" 

"The Fact that Political Ideologies are Tangible Realities  is NOT a Proof of their Vitally Necessary Character. The Bubonic Plague was an Extraordinarily Powerful Social Reality but No One  Would Have Regarded it as Vitally Necessary!"


Well, friends, it´s gettin late. The Sleep of the Just awaits. Who can doubt it?! I wonder if that cock Cameron´s slumbers are as untroubled as mine.....maybe he should ask Tony if being a war criminal disturbs yir sleep pattern!!!