This Train Aint Bound For Glory!

Seeing as ahv no pounded the keyboard for some time - not as a consequence of me feelin' like a Broke Down Engine, nor me contemplating the utter pointlessness o ma Tinternet scrivenings, y'understand -  I thought I'd rectify matters for the want of something more fulfilling to do with these very beat moments I find myself in. How better to fill some of my wasted n defeated minutes than with the temporary distraction that tapping oot this bloviating bluster can afford a poor, put-upon Pop Slopper! So, my virtual readers, on with the blow!

'This Train Aint Bound For Glory!

Seeing as Saint Theresa of Mayhem, current hollow mouthpiece of the venal & warped preservers of all that is outdated, joyless & dull-as-dishwater, (known to you and I as the Conservative & Unionist Party of Great Britain) has called a snap election for June and it's Easter time anyways, why not write about Resurrections methought.....political or otherwise!

This Train Ain't Bound For Glory!

As an avowed scoffer & skeptic the S t O N e d H O L y B L O g G e r couldn't be seen to have faith in much but, when it comes to the rolling away of stones and unpowered flight up into the heavens, I do have faith in the scientific approach to such matters ; consequently yi can sum up my thoughts on the possibility of an Essene mystic up n aboot and showing off the holes in his wrists n feet tae doubters just days after everybody seen him die a horrible death at the hands of the Roman Army of Occupation by use of the word 'Bollocks'. And though talk of metaphors or symbols is perfectly admissible let's agree tae leave the Theosophy for another time and another dander doon Desolation Row.

This Train Ain't Bound For Glory!

So then, closer to home, what of the mooted resurrection of the United Kingdom? Free of the banana-straightening clutches of Johnny Foreigner at last. The People have spoken, seemingly. Unfortunately what they have said turns out to be wilfully ignorant, misinformed, xenophobic, petty-minded shit! But Westminster loves a pantomime so on with the circus and let's hear all the phoney talk of how fabulous it's gonna be now 'we've got our country back'! Let's, for the want of a real democracy participated in by an informed and engaged populace, pretend Britain will be Great again.

This Train Ain't Bound For Glory!

 The s T O n e d h O L y B L o G g e R says 'No chance!' Not least because of the notion that we can, as one, return to some fanciful time when British industry fashioned everything the world wanted and British commerce ruled the waves is risible horseshit! Would that be the time, one wonders, when infant mortality rates were the highest they've ever been and we sent small boys up chimneys to clean them? Would that be the time when urban squalor was a breeding ground for diseases like cholera and smallpox? Would that be the time when British bayonets let British business grow fat & wealthy on stolen resources? Let's get this straight people, Britain has never been 'great'! Not even when the Arch Imperialist and hideously self-entitled, Churchill was giving speeches about fighting them on the beaches!

This Train Ain't Bound For Glory!

So even as new life and promise is emerging from the greening earth all around us, the Disunited Kingdom is busy sticking its head back into the shitpile of ignorance and dreaming of a golden age that never was. A 'resurrection'? Jesus returning to Albion and blessing this green & pleasant land is more likely! Though May and her hit squad of millionaires are undoubtedly riding the Gravy Train, the chances of either you or I or any Little Englander driving around in his white van, waving his union jack and tugging on the leash of his pitbull terrier called 'Damage' hoppin' aboard and getting a seat in the dining car are negligible...if not downright impossible! For this Train ain't Bound for Glory people - the Empire is over! This Train ain't Bound for Glory, people - British exceptionalism is a self-harming fantasy!  The Little England Express will be calling in at Austerity,  
Low Wages, No Rights, No Housing, Rachman Rents, Zero Hour Contracts, Racism, Xenophobia, Terrorism and Perpetual Rule by Tory Oligarchs sworn to nothing but filling their own pockets....where this service will terminate! Please collect your belongings before alighting from this train and, please, mind the pay gap!

Please Mind the Gap!

 

Urbi et Orbi

It's Easter time...and I'm figuring, between mouthfuls of poor quality chocolate, that if the Pope in Rome can grumble n groan about his gripes with the world from his balcony on the Vatican, then the S t O n E D H o L y b L o G G e R  can grouse n grouch too! Admittedly my congregation may not number in the multitudes of the Pontifex Maximus, lost in the Cavernous Chamber of Tinternet Garbage as it is, but one feels this is surely a case of Quality not Quantity!

True, Easter Sunday has passed, but when it comes to dates n times we, here assembled, in The Church of Stoned Holy Brethrenness and Good Vibes are more lax in these matters than the Heavenly Father. It does not deem a team of 12 astronomers staring at the movements of heavenly bodies to decide the precise date of Easter as necessary : We merely observe the heavenly bodies strutting their stuff in the neon-lit, trashy, rockinrollin streets or the rosy cheeks of the girl working the checkout at the supermarket.....or, more pertinently, that the tender stems of the lenten lillies are dancing neath the overarching lattice of bare beech and sycamore branches ; we see too that May is already oot and cloots can be cast ; we note the shining buttery petals of the gorse blanketting the hillside ; we behold the darling buds already being shaken by rough winds. Easter is Everywhere!

Slip inside this house as you pass by, and you also, gentle reader may experience regeneration. Metaphysical authority figures in the sky are in no way required to explain the coming of this Springing time. The spinning of the Earth and the angle of its tilt must surely be seen, by any mind capable of Reason, to fully reveal what's really happening......and contrary to what many believe, especially those who rigidly cling to Bronze Age superstitions to lend some semblance of meaning to their lives, this in no way detracts from the Majesty and Magic of the Renewal!

Can it really be a coincidence that the Pope and his devotees celebrate the Resurrection in springtime? Look around you and you may bear witness to Resurrection happening right outside your window! See the saffron rays of dawn rising again and hear the poetry and word magic that cloaks the cults of Eos and Aurora, Ushas and Eostre, our pagan goddess of Spring. That point on the right side of the compass, 'East',  bears etymological testimony to the fact that The Dawn Goddess was revered & honoured countless centuries before some geezer in the Middle East got himself nailed to a couple of planks of wood for seditious preachings yet, reportedly, was seen two days later as right as the proverbial rain!

For adherents of The Rolling of the Holy Stone, chocolate eggs n greeting cards, fluffy bunnies n cute yellow chicks, hot cross buns n simnel cake, crucifixions and empty tombs just don't cut the Easter mustard. Here in the Stoned Holy Cathedral of Love supine fertility rites are more up our Easter street : Dark Delphic Mysteries whereby cavorting goat girls cloaked in gossamer robes with luxurious tresses tumbling sinuously from veils of silk invite you to ingest spicy and succulent comestibles from sacred salvers and drink lustily the unknown draughts and brews contained within holy goblets : States of sensual reverie and voluptuous abandonment : Initiations involving a surfeit of willowy and comely dancing damsels....you know the kinda thing! Anyway, before i get too carried away, green shoots are showing, things are sprouting, blossoming, budding, swelling, issuing, springing......let's hope that amongst all this fecundity there can be a Rejuvenation, a Rebirth, a Renewal, a Restoration, a Revitalisation. This RESURRECTION is not just for the S T o N E d H O L y b L O g g E R  alone (though heaven knows I could do with one!) but for us all!

Here Endeth the Sermon. Lemme Hear Ya Say "YEAH!"

Until next time, Pop-Pickers. Peace Oot XX