Rise Like Lions After Slumber!

Would it surprise you to realise, Dear Readers, that as well as being the Disaffected & Cynical Pop-Slop Failure I am, I am also an Unrepentant & Hopelessly Idealistic
'dyed-in-the wool'  Romantic?.....but verily, it is so!

Take for instance my resolutely, if not downright ridiculously, held opinion, informed by my extensive enquiries into the political tenets of both Communism & Anarchism, that Humankind is capable of so much more than 'Supermarket Sweep' and 'Deal or No Deal'!!.....or to put it another way, Boris Johnson & Michael Gove!!But, to quote Shelley  (Pete that is, from Manchester's finest, the Buzzcocks! ), What Do I Get for my faith in my fellow humankind beings to raise the bar of civilised living?...............the answer ; a nauseating media scrum over the birth of a baby!! Well Yippee n Howdy-Doody! And I'm supposed to give a shit, why??!!

Tell me, just how much of a tragic waste of useless, oxygen burning, precious resource squandering fukn space have you gotta be to be one of those Lamentable & Unforgivable Dullards or Inadequates thronging by the gates of Buck House waiting to catch sight of a piece of A4 paper displayed in a fukn wooden box??!!

"Rise Like Lions after Slumber in Unvanquishable Number."  This from the pen of my fellow Romantic and one gone before who also tread the Rutted Furrow & Rocky Way of  T h e  S t o n e d H o l y R o l l e r - Brother Percy Bysshe Shelley ;  And it is with these sweet words of poesy reverberating in the custard like ooze that fills the space beneath the Stoned Holy Chapeau that I beseech the seemingly Uninterested & Uncommunicative Metaphysical Superbeing who resides in Heavens High and watches over the pathetic and vainglorious trifles of the puny human ants created by His (or indeed Her!) own omnipotent and masterful hand, to......

 Geeza Fukn Brek Fae the Fukn Windsor Family!!!

And yet, Dearly Gathered, behind all the Sanctimonious Fawning, Obsequious Brown-Nosing and Flagrant Propagandizing lies but a little mite - no different from the thousands upon thousands who hove into view round about the same time as he did - Barely a day old and needing nothing more than Mother's arms to hold him and Mother's breast to feed him - No different from all those other mewling bundles of joy squealing for milk....and for now blissfully unaware of the full weight of the Ridiculous & Outmoded History of Ignominy & Avarice or the Life-Sucking & Stultifying Burden of Duty & Incumbency soon to be placed firmly on his little Babby shoulders! Ah, Bless!!

But yes, absurdly...insanely....ludicrously,  someday yet to wheel about, this Little, Squidgy, Pink Parcel will be by the Grace of God, King of this Realm and of His other Realms and Territories, Head of the Commonwealth & Defender of the Faith! Blimey, what a mouthful! He will also, amongst a whole heap of shiny tin stars n golden braid, be everything from the Duke of Normandy to the Lord of Mann...& no need to bust a gut as an Infantry grunt or lowly grog-swilling AB since he's already pencilled in to be  Commander-in Chief of the British Armed Forces and Lord High Admiral of the Royal Navy......Blah Blah Blah, the list goes on...and what an appalling, Medieaval load of Bollocks it is!!

Who could possibly envy the little pudding?...Saddled with so much Antiquated & Meaningless Shit!! Perchance we SHOULD all do the Little Whinger a favour and discard the Infantilising & Demeaning System that places him on Pedestal High, secure in the knowledge that this was ordained by God!!?? Yes, maybe by the time he's of age he too can be part of a Democratic & Inclusive Republic where people are not Subjects but CITIZENS!!!!

LIBERTY!

EGALITY!

FRATERNITY!

......and, oh aye VIVE LE REVOLUTION Brothers n Sisters!!!

n here a wee link tae read more about Republicanism / http://www.republic.org.uk

Stroke Mags & Bombay Sapphire!!??

Maybe, just maybe, my fellow bloggers, being the Cultured & Discerning readership you are, you may haved noted a Discontented, nay, Embittered thread running through my previous inane excursions into the Wonderful World of Computerdrivel. The reasons for this are, I trust,  evident but chief amongst them, in summary, is the fact that Shuffling in Scuffled Down Shoes through the indifferent streets of Hometown Anonymity can be Pure Fukn Drudgery  at the best of times but is exacerbated mightily by Pop Slop Dillusions of Grandeur & Entitlement. All things being right with this world, I shouldn't really be up at this late hour writing this shit, but instead be entertaining some delightfully gazelle-like young ladies in that Garden of Earthly Delights which the
S t o n e d  H o l y  B e d  C h a m b e r should rightfully be!! Oh well, never mind! Self-loathing though, isn't really the S T o N e d h o L Y B l o G G e R's kinda backbeat, so instead I opt to project my Petty Resentments and Myriad Disappointments onto the world at large and mooch around with a stoney expression much like something that belongs on Easter Island! And oh, doth not this Ship of Fools we call the World make it so damn easy to pour Scorn & Vitriol & Blame & Plagues of Locusts down upon its Blackened & Cancerous heart!!!

Take, for instance the news that winged its way to me just the other day via the Modern Day Marvel that is Televisual Communication ; there, amongst the usual wretched fare of Low-Brow Titillation (with the emphasis on 'tit'!) and Bourgeois Materialistic Fawning that clogs up the airwaves and knotted cables of T.V Land, I was informed that the Queen, poor underpaid Old Dear that she is, has just bagged herself a pay hike from 34 to 36 Million Quid!

And here's me, a Poor, Neglected Rock n Roll genius, forced to panhandle for subsistence wages whilst that talentless, benefit sponging, pheasant killing, handbag wielding, gin swigging, corgi loving po-faced hoor, who's basically done Sweet Bo Diddley for humankind (...except that is, spawn the next generation of Dimwits n Dullards who will Lord it over us someday!), is getting 36 Million Fucking Quid!!! Righteous Indignation ain't the word, people!! Come back Monsieur Guillotine, all is forgiven!!

So Let's Think About This For a Brief Moment :
36 Million Quid whilst they're laying off thousands of public sector workers as part of a 'solution' to a mess they had no part in creating?! 

36 million quid as they bleat constantly on about the need to save money by cutting public services across the country?!

36 million Quid as  they deconstruct the NHS and tell us there's no money to pay for it?! 

36 Million Quid as they belittle and harangue the unemployed and get their French bully boys at ATOS to bully and harass those who can't work?!

36 Million Quid whilst nearly 5 Million people wait for a council house?!

   
And do you think it makes it any easier to tumble into Golden Slumbers, weary at day's end from all my bellachin',  whilst I'm thinking about Queenie raking in a fortune from her London property portfolio, which is valued at more than £8 Billion!...or the news that she's pocketted over £7 Million in E.U farming grants!! Not on yir Sweet Chuck Berry!!......and here's me with not even enough for a stroke mag n a bottle of Bombay Sapphire!!

Kings & Queens; Adorned, Enthroned

August & Imperious in their Stately Homes

Stepping Down from the History Page

You Wouldn't Think that we're Living in the Space-Age! 

ahm tellin it as it is, people!

see yiz aw next time, you Pop-Pickin' Republicans!!

Wherever I Lay Ma Hat...That's Ma Hat!

The S t O n E D H o L y B l o g g E R writes to you today, not from the familiar, mossed environs of StonedHolyHQ, but from an alien, though not altogether displeasing, corner of Good Old Blighty. I address both discerning readers and non-computer savvy inepts alike, not from the cushioned comfort of the StonedHolyComputerSuite but from quarters new.

These past weeks and months, though visiting Disruption & Upheaval upon the previously unassailable turrets of StonedHolyHQ, have also opened up both vistas & possiblities new : Yes, the Motte & Bailey have been overrun and yes, the walls have been breached and the fires within the StonedHolyHearth extinguished but this matters not in the digital world of the blogosphere wherein we are uncorporeal.

But the S t O n e D H O L y b l o G G e r  is, most assuredly, of Flesh & Bone and it is with real, though possibly slightly world-weary, eyes that I have gazed into the emptiness of the majestic night sky and having considered the vast, pitiless desert of time n space came to the conclusion that Wherever I Lay Ma Hat....That's Ma Hat!!

So I am here to tell you Internet Dogs that the StonedHolyBowler is now set at a jaunty angle atop the StonedHolyNoggin as I skip merrily along the unfamiliar streets of Cheltenham bidding passers-by 'Good Day'! And yea verily, as Arthur Lee noted back in '67, "Forever Changes" - Yet some things stay the same.....n ahm no quite ready to stop plugging away at this Pop-Slop-Mallarkey just yet!.....Y'see, Ahv Got Something Inside of Ma Bones - and it's DANGEROUS!!

The Beat Goes On!!!

Soon I May Lay My Hat Near YOU!!

Life's A Gas - Strike A Match - BOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Salutations Brethren!! 

Batten Doon the Hatches!!

Today found the S T O n E d H o L y b L O g g E r cloistered within the confines of StonedHoly HQ and  fully intent on not popping his Stoned Holy Noggin' above the parapet to have a keek! I hunkered doon! I  battened doon the hatches! I decided to wait it out in the hermetically sealed environment of the Stoned Holy Fall-Out Shelter!

Verily, it was 'chuckin' it doon' ootside, as it often does in these latitudes, but that was not the reason for my taking the StonedHolyPersonage far from the madding crowd. It would require a soaking of Biblical proportions to deter one so inured to a pluvial drenching as the S t o n e d H O L y B L o g g e R from issuing forth from his front door, I can tell you!

Perchance I have commenced a period of monk-like Seclusion, removed from the distractions of this Crazy Old World to explore the "Weird Scenes Inside the Gold-Mine" of Inner-Space? But no, gentle readers, the Monastic life is not for me ; although it may interest you to know I  have actually undergone a period akin to that just described - it was called the 80's!!! Which I spent mostly in my bedroom listening to Blind Lemon Jefferson & Howling Wolf and reading the works of Leon Trotsky & Isaac Deutscher whilst the likes of Duran Duran and Depeche Mode were abroad in the world at large and raking it in!!! Wankers!!

Maybe then it is, the Stoned Holy Frontal Lobe has finally snapped
and I have retreated from the hugger-mugger of the 21st Century into a
Howard Hughes-like paranoia of never opening the curtains and wearing a hat made out of kitchen foil to deflect the mind-bending rays being used to pacify the world's population by a race called the Zargons who hail from Planet Karg?!?!...and all the while subsisting on a diet of porridge and crisps and lying in my own shit!! Eh.....errrr.....ummmmm...NO!!! I like to think the Sanity of the s t o N E D h O L y B l o g g e R is fairly secure.....for the moment leastways!!

Is it then possible that Wonga.com sent the boys round to gie the poor
Stoned Holy Knee-Caps a couple o' dunts wi a mash hammer to convince me I should pay forthwith the outstanding balance of £2,750 which I owe them from an original loan of £35 I took out in lieu of Jobseekers Allowance which I subsequently did not receive after the black-hearted scoundrels and dejected jobsworths who enforce the callous ideological policies of the DWP sanctioned me for all of March & April forcing me thusly to lie low and pretend nobody was in, ignoring the loud and insistent rapping upon the Stoned Holy Front Door?!?! I am happy to report t'is not so!.... although the Stoned Holy Coffers are, indeed, currently perilous!

No, the real reason behind my self-imposed quarantine was the funeral of one Margaret Hilda Thatcher and all its associated BULLSHIT!! Listening to the mock solemnity of the tossers who turned up to make political capital out of the anachronistic old crone's demise would be distasteful at the best of times but knowing they've splashed 10 Million Quid on their shindig does tend to stick in the craw somewhat!!!....And all of this fanfare at the taxpayer's expense in times of so-called Austerity....Nauseating!!!.....but what really tipped the scales was the news from The Sunday Times Rich List, courtesy of Michael Meacher, that the wealthiest thousand people in the U.K (just 0.003% of the population!) have, over the course of the last three years, got richer by the staggering sum of £155 Billion!! I'll write that figure out in full just so you fully comprehend it - One Hundred & Fifty Five Billion  Pounds!!

That, my friends, is enough to pay off the entire U.K budget deficit and still leave £30bn as loose change!!

Let's Kick Out the Tories!!

 Ta-Ta for Now Cyberpeepers!!

 Sleep Well!!!

A Healthy Dollop of Schadenfreude : Thatcher's Deid!!

Mr. Charles Dickens, no less, late of Rochester, Kent once opined that "It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times" but we here gathered in the 'Diary of a Pop-Slop Nobody' Editing Suite do not concur! For surely, these are simply the worst of times! Was it not ever thus for lowly folks such as the S t o n E d H o l y B L o g g e R....but today, I must admit, there's an all too perceptible upturning at the corners of the
S t o n e d H o l y C h a t t e r H o l e...I...errrr...think it's called a SMILE!! 

It's true, the S t o n e H o l y C o u n t e n a n c e is not usually troubled by such things; wearing as it does a gravely chiselled expression, placed there upon it by wasted years of tirelessly chippin' awa' at this Pop Slop Mallarkey for scant reward! So, yes, the
S t o n e d H o l y B r o w is mostly found Furrowed Deeply & Darkly Shadowed ;  it's bleedin' hard work lugging 'round all my baggage of Resentment & Bitterness, I can tell yi!! Old Jacob Marley hasn't got as look-in! But today the onus on these Discontented & Heavily Burdened S t o n e d H o l y S h u d d e r s has lightened somewhat with the news that

THATCHER'S DEID!!

My guess is that the Blogosphere is right this Holy Beat Moment ablaze with feverish typing as an Army of Bloggers pound the keyboards to celebrate the fact of her passing!! The S T o n e D H o l Y B L o g g e R is one such! No doubt in some Iniquitous Quarters they are already penning Turgid Eulogies & Puerile Panegyrics to further cloud the Repugnant & Revolting airs by her bier but that is most definitely not the case here at
S t o n e d H o l y H Q!!.....nor I suspect a lotta places north of Luton or outside of Tory Central Office....and maybeez, not even within every corridor of that Scurrilous Den!

For the people of whom the S t O n e D h O L y B l o G G e r sings of and for in his capacity as The Concrete Prairie Crooner, The Baron of Baritone &  Psychedelic Overlord of the S T O N E D H O L Y R O L L E R S and lest we forget, The Guiding Light & Most Irreverent High-Heid-Yin of the Stoned Holy Church of Rockin  Rollin Brethrenness, Thatcher poppin' her 87 year old clogs is, most assuredly, cause for sloppin up a good healthy dollop of SCHADENFREUDE and savouring every bitter n twisted mouthful!!

It has been said that the Guid Die Young - need we say more?!?! 87 Miserable Fukn Years of Heartbreak & Rupture! 87 Afflicted & Sorrowful Steps that have lead to the Cold, Grey Clay!! The Zoroastrians believe you have but one duty to fulfill with your allotted time on this goodly Earth; namely, to leave the World a better place for your having been in it! This Poisonous & Pernicious woman has singularly failed in this undertaking!! She's been a Bane no' a Boon!!...n noo she's on a spit being roasted like a herring amidst the blackest, deepest Palls of Beelzebub's Halls!!!.......leastways, I like to think she is!!!

I urge you gentle readers, whilst they prattle endlessly on & on and discuss her legacy to think of the damage wrought by her and her love affair with Reaganomics and the Free Market Madness of Friedman : mass unemployment, millions homeless, the gap between rich and poor ever widening, communities ripped apart all across Britain, manufacturing all but disappeared, the rise of 'Benefit Culture', bank bail-outs and bankers' bonuses, the social fabric in tatters......Oh, t'is a Bitter Harvest she has wrought!!! And noo she's DEID!!!!.....but how can we forget her warped, bastard spawn are still at the helm  and creating a Britain where money gets what money wants and no-one gives a shit for their neighbours cos 'there's no such thing as Society' anyway!!!!

Champagne isn't really the style of the s t O N e D H o l y b l O g g E R, but tonight I just may crack open a fine bottled ale and without pity or remorse say "Thank Fuck, the Wicked Witch is Dead!!!!" Then I may wind up the S t o n e d H o l y V i c t r o l a and listen again to The Beat 'Stand Down Margaret' or Crass 'How Does it Feel to be the Mother of a Thousand Dead' or Elvis Costello 'Tramp the Dirt Down' or Morrissey crooning 'Margaret on the Guillotine'......I must confess, I may get a wee bitty nostalgic for those Thatcher blighted days of my naive youth....but, be assured all yous oot there in Blogland, I will all the while be feeling satisfaction & delight in another's misfortune!.....

Schadenfreude - oh, doncha just love it!!!!

Morrissey /  The Beat / Elvis / Crass

  

£53 a week, mate?....yoor avvin a laugh, aincha?!?!

The S t o N E d h O L Y b L o G G e r hereby extends his apologies to the Good Peoples who inhabit the Blogosphere for his long and (I'm damned sure) sorely missed absence from these virtual walls whereon we bloggers paste up our witterings, rancourous or otherwise, in the vain hope that somebody will read them and recognise us as the obscure genius that we have always believed ourselves to be!

The aforementioned absence was due to circumstances outwith my control - ie: Mr. Iain Duncan Smith! Details later, but for now let's consider the much-in-the-news Minister for Work & Pensions. This may prove difficult for I can hardly bare to type out his name without feeling somewhat nauseous and it conjuring it up in my mind an image of his shiny little bald head under the conference lights as he delivers yet another pernicious and petty minded diatribe against 'benefit culture' to the Legions of the Lame-Brained that are the septuagenarian Tory Faithful!!. Yes, I know it's wrong, but I would happily see the Repugnant Tory Dimwit's noggin cleaved in two by a war-axe or some such implement as one uses in these matters, and see for myself the cancerous grey sludge inside it that passes as a brain!!!

And to think he was born  (surely thiat should read vomited up?!?!) in Edinburgh where I myself made my howling entrance into this World of Fools & Fops & Popinjays! Just one more reason for me to resent the Grey, Windblown, Kebab Strewn Streets of this Piddling, Presbyterian, Pisspot, Prison Town that has for so long stifled my

S t o N e D   &   H o L y   R o L L i N g N E s s ! 
Hell hath no fury like a lover ignored!!




He was also, again like the S T o N e d H o L Y b L o g g e R, schooled by Vatican Stormtroopers - ie: given a Roman Catholic education!! Unlike myself though, he still practices the faith. I find this baffling...if only momentarily. In instances such as this I quickly revert to my Pontifex Maximus Drenched Default Setting of Righteous & Holy Indignation and begin to Thunder & Fulminate!! Weary from these exhortations I humbly implore and beseech the Wrathful God who Bides in Heavens High to exact a Swift & Shuddersome  Vengeance upon this Perambulatory & Puny Pestilence for having the Outrageous Fukn Temerity to Believe he could be counted in the Ranks of the Faithful and as such qualify for life everlasting!! Oh. for B'Jaysus sake why can this Miserable Little Man not be turned into something more befitting his position in the Cosmic Grand Order of Things - say errr.... Dog Shit for example!!!
   

And now for more on the beleaguered Blockhead that is George Iain Duncan Smith. Not beleaguered enough, I and countless others would wager ; for by rights this Toxic Tory Abortion should be vilified everywhere he goes by any society that is any way concerned with the Social Justice it affords its citizens. Again, I would happily see this Loathsome Tory Toad reduced to a Skulking Pariah and pelted with various comestibles and the contents of yir average Septic Tank whenever he dared show his Loathsome Little Toady face in the Good Light of Day - for surely in any Society worthy of the name, it would be so!! 

The fact that this Horrible Little Runt has actually prospered in this world is but further grist to my Embittered and World Weary Mill!! He has 'prospered' by various means ; Aside from his ignoble six year stretch as an officer in the British Army he has sold both armaments for GEC Marconi and gun related magazines for Jane's Information Group. He has also lied about attending the University of Perugia and something called the 'Dunchurch College of Management' which turns out to be nothing more than a weekend jolly for the team at GEC Marconi's own staff college! He has also 'got on' by marrying himself into money and claiming the fair hand of the daughter of some grandee called the 5th Baron Cottesloe. Oh, how simply wonderful it must be for everyone.....especially as they all live on Pater-In Law's estate in Bucolic Buckinghamshire!!! Shall we mention him swelling his bank account further with monies claimed from the public purse for his wife 'working' as his 'Diary Secretary'? Oh, we'd better not because he was 'cleared' and given a slight rebuke by 'Parliamentary watchdog'! That'll teach him!!

But enough of  peddling guns and lies and his shameful rise to the dizzy heights of the DWP.... let's talk about now and his frankly laughable and ludicrous claim that he could subsist on £53 a week! Do I really need to spit forth yet more vitriol and detail the many ways that this is Contemptible & Insulting & Arrogant? I implore you readers, please take the time to visit the website below where you can sign the e-petition to make this Tory Abomination make good on his Flagrant & Heinous Clap-Trap and live on £53 a week for a year!! Here's the link  https://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/iain-duncan-smith-iain-duncan-smith-to-live-on-53-a-week 

Make it so, people! 
Verily, I say unto thee, Make it so!!!

Robert Burns : Rock n Roll Animal!

It's that time of year again, folks. The time when the S T O n e d H O L y b L o G g e R reminds aw you Cyberdarlings (or at least that portion of yiz amongst the teeming multitudes of the blogosphere who have blundered their way onto these exalted pages!)  that the birthday of Robert Burns, late of Ayrshire, Scotland, will soon be upon us. It's the 25th January when yiz aw need tae get the whisky bottle oot and raise a toast tae Rantin' Robbie!!! So keen am I tae draw yir attention to this impending anniversary that I am here, sitting in the Cramped n Chilly confines of the computer suite at
S t o n e d H o l y H Q, hammerin' awa at the keyboard on a Saturday night, when any other self-respecting Rock n Roll Animal worthy of the name wid be oot on Cuban Heels, Scavenging & Scouring the Skirted Streets seeking out Raw Flesh & Live Heat!!! Fie, even the Bardie himself would surely be one of them!

*    *    *   *    *   *    *

But here I am ; caged within the Hallowed & Hushed Halls of  R O l l e R C e N t R a l, 
the indifferent S t o n e d H o l y W a l l s flickering in the glow from the computer screen, writing this garbage for the elucidation of  Virtual Loons n Quines! By rights, I should be spending my evening entertaining several delightfully upholstered nubiles, keen to show their appreciation of my S T o N e d h O l y g E N i U s by enveloping my dulled senses in Sumptuous & Voluptuary excess! Oh, such a Realm of Fleeting Pleasures to be abandoned to! Yes, I know, Sex without Love IS an empty experience.....but as empty experiences go (and there are many in this meagre & pitiable world) it's one of the best!!

*    *    *    *    *    *    *

A fact, I'm sure, that would not have been lost on Robert Burns : For although he was a man of Prodigous Poetic Capabilities and a man firmly engaged with the Political Upheavals and Intellectual Altercations of his age, a man possessed of Easy Charm & Wit, he was a man also, who liked nothin' better than tae Cock Up his Beaver and loosen his breeks tae gie the Bonnie burdies a treat!! Though undoubtedly one who relished the pleasing company of rosy cheeked lovelies as a way to fill his hours and afford him the opportunity to display his breadth of learning, a means whereby he could show off his dazzling rhyme makkin skills....ahm pretty damn sure he liked it even better when the jades bade him lift up their petticoats and lug oot his pintle!!

*    *    *    *   *   *    *

I here recommend yi hunt doon a copy of "The Merry Muses of Caledonia." for the collected Smut & Bawdy Verse of Burns and a Joyous & Jovial Jaunt in Rhyme through the World of Fornication. 'Say, Puritan, can it be wrong, tae dress plain truth in witty song?'  asks the frontispiece and what follows is guaranteed tae put a smirk on the most door of faces. Here's wee sample tae whet yir appetite;

O gin a Body meet a Body comin thro the rye

Gin a body fuck a Body, Need a Body Cry!

Gin a body meet a Body comin thro the Glen

Gin a Body fuck a Body, Need the Warld ken!

Gin a Body meet a Body comin thro the Grain

Gin a Body fuck a Body, cunt's a Body's ain!

*    *    *    *    *   *   *

Awright, cyberpeepers, ahv said ma piece. Ah'll leave the rest to you. Meanwhile, here's a doff o the cap and a raising o a glass tae Robert Burns (1759 - 1796), a real Rock n Roll Animal & a real gone..... 

S t O N e D H o l y r O L L E r! 

Avanti Popolo!!

A V A N T I   P O P O L O ! !  These are the stirring first words of the famous Italian workers anthem 'Bandiera Rosso.'  And the sentiment is surely one to stir the blood as we hapless though not entirely hopeless layabouts here at  S t o n e d H o l y   H Q  lurch somewhat gingerly into 2013!!.....and Yes, the days, though short, grow longer! The sap is indeed rising within these Pop-Slop Veins.....(although it's efficacy therein is counteracted somewhat by a Roman Catholic education and the many harsh lessons wrought and sexual failures incurred in the course of our dreary years of Pop-Slop Failure!! All of which bitter recollections serve to remind me that it was Bill Withers who pointed out "you sure do become attractive when you have a hit record"!!)

But, Ladies n Gentlemen, there is indeed LIFE in these Old Pop-Slop Dogs yet!! It's true, Ronnie Dawson's Bones ain't been doin' a Whole Lotta Shakin' themselves recently, but we've still got him on the S t o n e d H o l y R o c k O l a  at 45 r.p.m loudly proclaiming"There's still a Lotta Rhythm in these Rockin' Bones"....so if that don't get ya Movin' & Groovin' then yi must be deader than Ronnie!!

Dismal Experience tells us it's foolhardy, I know, but for now, as we stride forth into the New Year from out of  the Hallowed Portals of S t o n e d H o l y H Q our demeanour is positively chirpy!! We must admit though, to our High Spirits being literally dampened a little by the want of a good, stout pair of Boots!!! The S t o n e d H o l y S p i r i t  is willing but the Wet Feet & Chilblains are weak!!!

No doubt Navy Manners aboard the Good Ship Blighty  in the 21st century - ie : being routinely keel-hauled at the Job Centre plus ; being hung from the highest yardarm for raiding yir youngest's piggy-bank for a few Pieces of Eight tae keep the motor running ;  walking the plank on a diet of beans on toast and hard tack ; and being remorselessly lashed by the Cat o' Nine Tails and any number of caterwauling & talentless teenage bimbos and young men who need their trousers pulled up! - will soon chip away at our chipper disposition but for now we remain buoyant! If it wiznae for the Grog and the right to Self-Medicate I don't know what we'd do!!

No doubt the Soulless & Enervating smiles of  Top Twots, Messrs. Cameron & Osborne, and indeed the whole Pernicious & Corrupting Business of Politics and Governance of Her Majesty's Sinking Ship Great Britain will soon hasten the restoration of the
S T O n e d H o l Y B l o g g E r ' s  default setting of Stinging Rancor &
World Weary Cynicism!!

It is given to some lucky souls to play out their lives upon the grand stage of Revolution where Ferment and Insurrection are heady in the air ; A Monumental Theatre wherein their walk-on-parts and asides are woven into the very Fabric of History....but not so the
S T O n E d H o L y b l o G G e r !  I find myself bobbing aimlessly in fouled waters surrounded by Capitalist Pirates, Free Market Sharks and endless fukn episodes of 'Grand Designs' on More4 and adverts for reclaiming PPI.......

Sometimes Davey Jones' Locker doesnae half look inviting!!!!

Make mine a Rum, Barman! AAAARRRRRR!!!

Happy New Year Cyberpeople!!