Burnished Hearts & Buffoonery!!

Now you, Dear Cyberpeepers, may think being in a Rock N Roll Band is all about excess - Snorting lines of white powder from off the perfectly formed midriffs of prodigously curvaceous yet mentally vacuous & impressionable young ladies or thrusting your Priapically swollen nether regions at a fawning audience... but tis not so! Being currently between gigs and enjoying a period of Stoned & Holy Down-Time, I have found myself mulling over life in the Rock n Roll Slow Lane. So here, for your further entertainment, Pop-Pickers, are a few notes regarding the Dreary Glissando into Inanity, if not out n out Insanity, that the Rollers of the Holy Stone  have somehow managed to perform over these last few decades. So come with me now on a trip down Memory Lane.....

Here at the outset, Gentle Readers, allow me first to impress upon you the fact that it was with Burnished Hearts & Young Minds crowded, if not clouded, with Ideological Fervour that our Holy-Rollers-To-Be embarked on their Protean Rise to Nowheresville! Those classic twin motivators of Drugs & Sex were of no consequence to our Angry Young Men. These Post-Pubescent Politicos had a 'Message' to Punt! Our Over-Zealous Young Turks were above such petty concerns as Drug Induced Euphoria & Sexual Satisfaction, their time being spent in labouring over how best to turn the history of the Paris Commune of 1871 into three minutes of Energised Punk Pop Burblings!

Alas, these Whining Whippersnappers were also almost wholly unaware of the Wider World's indifference to their earnest toil. Dedication to craft & Self-Sacrifice are not qualities ensuring your easy progress along the bumpy, cobblestoned thoroughfares of Human Strivings. But apprenticeships must be served, dues duly paid. And Lo! Did it come to pass. These Stroppy Striplings played on & ploughed their lonely furrow, woefully outtastep with the decade providence had cast them adrift in ; studiously learning all the whilst whilst engaged in various crummy jobs for low pay and little realising that this world of  vacuous consumerism & 'shake n vac' commercials can be a hard Master Mason to young & eager chisellers!

We would be happy to report that their Earnest Efforts & Assiduous Application were rewarded, in some manner as recompense, in regards to the Company & Favours of the 'Fairer Sex', but twas not so. Cruel fate had other plans for these aching gonads! So they took it on the chin and flailed their strings anew and all the more arduously! Thus the cheerless days shuffled past.

There may be those amongst you, Cyberpeepers, who are familiar with the alchemical way whereby a Rude & Lusty Ruby Port is transformed into an altogether more complex and rewarding Tawny. If so you will understand all the better how, with the slow tick of time, our Teenage Firebrands morphed imperceptibly into the Melodiously Delighting yet still Effecting Profanity that is the Stoned Holy Rollers of the Now.

So now it falls to me,  in the Self-Deprecating & Self-Effacing manner that has always been our wont here in the StonedHolyVestry, to inform you, Dear Starers of the Glowing Screen, that finally, after 25 or so years of plugging away at this Pop-Slop-Zero Mallarkey, we have had the ONE incontrovertible FACT of  being in a RockinRollin band revealed unto us :  We care not now to consider the Conceits & Smugness with which we have so often patted ourselves on the back and congratulated ourselves for being so clever. Time Has Humbled Us...and gifted us a more Forgiving, Gestalt-Style Overview of Human Foibles & Failings! But yes, We Fiercely Independent Nay-Sayers, We Truculent Autodidacts, We Champions of the Marxist Dialectic,  We Pathological Kickers against all Pricks, have realised what any A-Grade Dimwit would've twigged in  the time it takes to say 'Buffoonery' - Namely, that the two best things about being in a band are :  1/ The Birds and 2/ The Booze!!!

Oh, How We Plumb the Phony Depths of Bathos!!

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Here Endeth the Sermon!!

Adieu & Exit Stage Left!!