Batten Doon the Hatches!!

Today found the S T O n E d H o L y b L O g g E r cloistered within the confines of StonedHoly HQ and  fully intent on not popping his Stoned Holy Noggin' above the parapet to have a keek! I hunkered doon! I  battened doon the hatches! I decided to wait it out in the hermetically sealed environment of the Stoned Holy Fall-Out Shelter!

Verily, it was 'chuckin' it doon' ootside, as it often does in these latitudes, but that was not the reason for my taking the StonedHolyPersonage far from the madding crowd. It would require a soaking of Biblical proportions to deter one so inured to a pluvial drenching as the S t o n e d H O L y B L o g g e R from issuing forth from his front door, I can tell you!

Perchance I have commenced a period of monk-like Seclusion, removed from the distractions of this Crazy Old World to explore the "Weird Scenes Inside the Gold-Mine" of Inner-Space? But no, gentle readers, the Monastic life is not for me ; although it may interest you to know I  have actually undergone a period akin to that just described - it was called the 80's!!! Which I spent mostly in my bedroom listening to Blind Lemon Jefferson & Howling Wolf and reading the works of Leon Trotsky & Isaac Deutscher whilst the likes of Duran Duran and Depeche Mode were abroad in the world at large and raking it in!!! Wankers!!

Maybe then it is, the Stoned Holy Frontal Lobe has finally snapped
and I have retreated from the hugger-mugger of the 21st Century into a
Howard Hughes-like paranoia of never opening the curtains and wearing a hat made out of kitchen foil to deflect the mind-bending rays being used to pacify the world's population by a race called the Zargons who hail from Planet Karg?!?!...and all the while subsisting on a diet of porridge and crisps and lying in my own shit!! Eh.....errrr.....ummmmm...NO!!! I like to think the Sanity of the s t o N E D h O L y B l o g g e R is fairly secure.....for the moment leastways!!

Is it then possible that Wonga.com sent the boys round to gie the poor
Stoned Holy Knee-Caps a couple o' dunts wi a mash hammer to convince me I should pay forthwith the outstanding balance of £2,750 which I owe them from an original loan of £35 I took out in lieu of Jobseekers Allowance which I subsequently did not receive after the black-hearted scoundrels and dejected jobsworths who enforce the callous ideological policies of the DWP sanctioned me for all of March & April forcing me thusly to lie low and pretend nobody was in, ignoring the loud and insistent rapping upon the Stoned Holy Front Door?!?! I am happy to report t'is not so!.... although the Stoned Holy Coffers are, indeed, currently perilous!

No, the real reason behind my self-imposed quarantine was the funeral of one Margaret Hilda Thatcher and all its associated BULLSHIT!! Listening to the mock solemnity of the tossers who turned up to make political capital out of the anachronistic old crone's demise would be distasteful at the best of times but knowing they've splashed 10 Million Quid on their shindig does tend to stick in the craw somewhat!!!....And all of this fanfare at the taxpayer's expense in times of so-called Austerity....Nauseating!!!.....but what really tipped the scales was the news from The Sunday Times Rich List, courtesy of Michael Meacher, that the wealthiest thousand people in the U.K (just 0.003% of the population!) have, over the course of the last three years, got richer by the staggering sum of £155 Billion!! I'll write that figure out in full just so you fully comprehend it - One Hundred & Fifty Five Billion  Pounds!!

That, my friends, is enough to pay off the entire U.K budget deficit and still leave £30bn as loose change!!

Let's Kick Out the Tories!!

 Ta-Ta for Now Cyberpeepers!!

 Sleep Well!!!

A Healthy Dollop of Schadenfreude : Thatcher's Deid!!

Mr. Charles Dickens, no less, late of Rochester, Kent once opined that "It Was the Best of Times, It Was the Worst of Times" but we here gathered in the 'Diary of a Pop-Slop Nobody' Editing Suite do not concur! For surely, these are simply the worst of times! Was it not ever thus for lowly folks such as the S t o n E d H o l y B L o g g e R....but today, I must admit, there's an all too perceptible upturning at the corners of the
S t o n e d H o l y C h a t t e r H o l e...I...errrr...think it's called a SMILE!! 

It's true, the S t o n e H o l y C o u n t e n a n c e is not usually troubled by such things; wearing as it does a gravely chiselled expression, placed there upon it by wasted years of tirelessly chippin' awa' at this Pop Slop Mallarkey for scant reward! So, yes, the
S t o n e d H o l y B r o w is mostly found Furrowed Deeply & Darkly Shadowed ;  it's bleedin' hard work lugging 'round all my baggage of Resentment & Bitterness, I can tell yi!! Old Jacob Marley hasn't got as look-in! But today the onus on these Discontented & Heavily Burdened S t o n e d H o l y S h u d d e r s has lightened somewhat with the news that

THATCHER'S DEID!!

My guess is that the Blogosphere is right this Holy Beat Moment ablaze with feverish typing as an Army of Bloggers pound the keyboards to celebrate the fact of her passing!! The S T o n e D H o l Y B L o g g e R is one such! No doubt in some Iniquitous Quarters they are already penning Turgid Eulogies & Puerile Panegyrics to further cloud the Repugnant & Revolting airs by her bier but that is most definitely not the case here at
S t o n e d H o l y H Q!!.....nor I suspect a lotta places north of Luton or outside of Tory Central Office....and maybeez, not even within every corridor of that Scurrilous Den!

For the people of whom the S t O n e D h O L y B l o G G e r sings of and for in his capacity as The Concrete Prairie Crooner, The Baron of Baritone &  Psychedelic Overlord of the S T O N E D H O L Y R O L L E R S and lest we forget, The Guiding Light & Most Irreverent High-Heid-Yin of the Stoned Holy Church of Rockin  Rollin Brethrenness, Thatcher poppin' her 87 year old clogs is, most assuredly, cause for sloppin up a good healthy dollop of SCHADENFREUDE and savouring every bitter n twisted mouthful!!

It has been said that the Guid Die Young - need we say more?!?! 87 Miserable Fukn Years of Heartbreak & Rupture! 87 Afflicted & Sorrowful Steps that have lead to the Cold, Grey Clay!! The Zoroastrians believe you have but one duty to fulfill with your allotted time on this goodly Earth; namely, to leave the World a better place for your having been in it! This Poisonous & Pernicious woman has singularly failed in this undertaking!! She's been a Bane no' a Boon!!...n noo she's on a spit being roasted like a herring amidst the blackest, deepest Palls of Beelzebub's Halls!!!.......leastways, I like to think she is!!!

I urge you gentle readers, whilst they prattle endlessly on & on and discuss her legacy to think of the damage wrought by her and her love affair with Reaganomics and the Free Market Madness of Friedman : mass unemployment, millions homeless, the gap between rich and poor ever widening, communities ripped apart all across Britain, manufacturing all but disappeared, the rise of 'Benefit Culture', bank bail-outs and bankers' bonuses, the social fabric in tatters......Oh, t'is a Bitter Harvest she has wrought!!! And noo she's DEID!!!!.....but how can we forget her warped, bastard spawn are still at the helm  and creating a Britain where money gets what money wants and no-one gives a shit for their neighbours cos 'there's no such thing as Society' anyway!!!!

Champagne isn't really the style of the s t O N e D H o l y b l O g g E R, but tonight I just may crack open a fine bottled ale and without pity or remorse say "Thank Fuck, the Wicked Witch is Dead!!!!" Then I may wind up the S t o n e d H o l y V i c t r o l a and listen again to The Beat 'Stand Down Margaret' or Crass 'How Does it Feel to be the Mother of a Thousand Dead' or Elvis Costello 'Tramp the Dirt Down' or Morrissey crooning 'Margaret on the Guillotine'......I must confess, I may get a wee bitty nostalgic for those Thatcher blighted days of my naive youth....but, be assured all yous oot there in Blogland, I will all the while be feeling satisfaction & delight in another's misfortune!.....

Schadenfreude - oh, doncha just love it!!!!

Morrissey /  The Beat / Elvis / Crass

  

£53 a week, mate?....yoor avvin a laugh, aincha?!?!

The S t o N E d h O L Y b L o G G e r hereby extends his apologies to the Good Peoples who inhabit the Blogosphere for his long and (I'm damned sure) sorely missed absence from these virtual walls whereon we bloggers paste up our witterings, rancourous or otherwise, in the vain hope that somebody will read them and recognise us as the obscure genius that we have always believed ourselves to be!

The aforementioned absence was due to circumstances outwith my control - ie: Mr. Iain Duncan Smith! Details later, but for now let's consider the much-in-the-news Minister for Work & Pensions. This may prove difficult for I can hardly bare to type out his name without feeling somewhat nauseous and it conjuring it up in my mind an image of his shiny little bald head under the conference lights as he delivers yet another pernicious and petty minded diatribe against 'benefit culture' to the Legions of the Lame-Brained that are the septuagenarian Tory Faithful!!. Yes, I know it's wrong, but I would happily see the Repugnant Tory Dimwit's noggin cleaved in two by a war-axe or some such implement as one uses in these matters, and see for myself the cancerous grey sludge inside it that passes as a brain!!!

And to think he was born  (surely thiat should read vomited up?!?!) in Edinburgh where I myself made my howling entrance into this World of Fools & Fops & Popinjays! Just one more reason for me to resent the Grey, Windblown, Kebab Strewn Streets of this Piddling, Presbyterian, Pisspot, Prison Town that has for so long stifled my

S t o N e D   &   H o L y   R o L L i N g N E s s ! 
Hell hath no fury like a lover ignored!!




He was also, again like the S T o N e d H o L Y b L o g g e R, schooled by Vatican Stormtroopers - ie: given a Roman Catholic education!! Unlike myself though, he still practices the faith. I find this baffling...if only momentarily. In instances such as this I quickly revert to my Pontifex Maximus Drenched Default Setting of Righteous & Holy Indignation and begin to Thunder & Fulminate!! Weary from these exhortations I humbly implore and beseech the Wrathful God who Bides in Heavens High to exact a Swift & Shuddersome  Vengeance upon this Perambulatory & Puny Pestilence for having the Outrageous Fukn Temerity to Believe he could be counted in the Ranks of the Faithful and as such qualify for life everlasting!! Oh. for B'Jaysus sake why can this Miserable Little Man not be turned into something more befitting his position in the Cosmic Grand Order of Things - say errr.... Dog Shit for example!!!
   

And now for more on the beleaguered Blockhead that is George Iain Duncan Smith. Not beleaguered enough, I and countless others would wager ; for by rights this Toxic Tory Abortion should be vilified everywhere he goes by any society that is any way concerned with the Social Justice it affords its citizens. Again, I would happily see this Loathsome Tory Toad reduced to a Skulking Pariah and pelted with various comestibles and the contents of yir average Septic Tank whenever he dared show his Loathsome Little Toady face in the Good Light of Day - for surely in any Society worthy of the name, it would be so!! 

The fact that this Horrible Little Runt has actually prospered in this world is but further grist to my Embittered and World Weary Mill!! He has 'prospered' by various means ; Aside from his ignoble six year stretch as an officer in the British Army he has sold both armaments for GEC Marconi and gun related magazines for Jane's Information Group. He has also lied about attending the University of Perugia and something called the 'Dunchurch College of Management' which turns out to be nothing more than a weekend jolly for the team at GEC Marconi's own staff college! He has also 'got on' by marrying himself into money and claiming the fair hand of the daughter of some grandee called the 5th Baron Cottesloe. Oh, how simply wonderful it must be for everyone.....especially as they all live on Pater-In Law's estate in Bucolic Buckinghamshire!!! Shall we mention him swelling his bank account further with monies claimed from the public purse for his wife 'working' as his 'Diary Secretary'? Oh, we'd better not because he was 'cleared' and given a slight rebuke by 'Parliamentary watchdog'! That'll teach him!!

But enough of  peddling guns and lies and his shameful rise to the dizzy heights of the DWP.... let's talk about now and his frankly laughable and ludicrous claim that he could subsist on £53 a week! Do I really need to spit forth yet more vitriol and detail the many ways that this is Contemptible & Insulting & Arrogant? I implore you readers, please take the time to visit the website below where you can sign the e-petition to make this Tory Abomination make good on his Flagrant & Heinous Clap-Trap and live on £53 a week for a year!! Here's the link  https://www.change.org/en-GB/petitions/iain-duncan-smith-iain-duncan-smith-to-live-on-53-a-week 

Make it so, people! 
Verily, I say unto thee, Make it so!!!