S t o n e d H o l y B r a i n B o x is unconcerned with things Grammatical, the more sharp-eared pedestrian may hear the phrase "O, the Times - O, the Manners" emanating from the S t o n e d H o l y M o u t h H o l e ! Such is the lot of the 3-Eyed Man adrift in times he was not fashioned for!!
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Just today, as I sat spooning the last of my cappucino foam into my gobhole & admiring the fetlocks of the waitress, I happened to pick up a newspaper - This Was A Mistake!! It was also dangerous, for I had left the cosseted Sanctuary of S t o n e d H o l y H Q without drawing up contingency plans regarding what to do in the event of finding one's S t o n e d H o l y S e l f n e s s profoundly overwhelmed with the feeling of being trapped in a Great Big Barrel of the Brown Stuff without the means to extricate oneself from it! Usually, when events overtake me and Intimations of Impotency creep up on me, I pop a disc into the old c.d player and listen to Hank Williams singing "I'll Never Get Out Of This World Alive" and receive life-affirming succour from the sound of Hank's voice & the ethereal stylings of Don Helms on the E6 neck of his pedal steel. This option though, was not available to me, due in no small part to my being an avowed technophobe and not having a smart phone and a pair of ear plugs at the ready. Bravely, I sallied forth into the uncharted waters of Page Two and read on!......
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It wasn't after more than a few seconds that my heckles were up, my pulsebeat had rocketted up to 140b.p.m and the S t o n e d H o l y B l o o d was at boiling point! For it seems, Cyberfriends, that the Lunatics are well & truly in charge of the local Sanitorium!! And here's a snippet or two for why : First off was the news that President Obama has upped the budget for his 'drone war' on Pakistan. He must think it's paying dividends!. If incinerating mosques & bakeries and killing up to 3,000 civilians, including nearly 200 children means the strategy is working out fine for him & the Murderous Military Machine whose interests he serves then so be it n here's to his 2nd Term in Office.....of course, where it really sickens yi tae the pit o yir gut is when you remember that Mr. Obama has been awarded a Nobel Peace Prize!!! Hey Ho, Gentle Reader, Hey Ho.....
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Next to catch my attention was Mr. Michael Gove ; who you may know as our present Secretary of State for Education but I know as an Uneducated Fool from an Educated School......as well as a Chinless, Brainless & Odious Little Tory Runt!! It seems he was up before the Levenson Enquiry lecturing them on the importance of press freedom and delivering a speech full of praise for his one time boss at 'The Times', upright citizen' and all round Good-Fella Rupert Murdoch!! A great man' according to the chinless wonder!
This is the same incompetent who thought putting a copy of the King James Bible in every school in England & Wales would sort out a lot of the problems facing our beleaguered education system!! Talk about Finger-on-the-Pulse!! Just a teensy-weensy bit out of touch, what,what??.....Meanwhiles he's thinking of taking a victory for the Tories in the next General Election to be a mandate to run state schools for profit!?!?.......of course, up here in Scotland we've got our own Education System (funnily enough, it's the one that 'educated Mr. Gove!!) but I do hope that in the event of the Tories being returned for a second term in office, we will have severed our ties with Her Majesty's Sinking Ship Westminster!! I HAVE A DREAM!!....
I N D E P E N D E N C E ! ! !
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Whilst we're on the subject of abandoning the Good Ship Britannia we have to mention the Jubilee. The acid burn of bile at the back of the S t o n e d H o l y C r a w is, at this point, Burnin' Something Awful but for you, good Republican Citizens, I soldier on! You will remember that all this feverish hammering of the keys was elicited by my having inadvertently opened a newspaper; well, it was when the little section detailing the cost of the monarchy fell out onto the table that I had to abandon any attempt at Urbane, Metropolitan Cafe Culture and Run to the City of Refuge that is
S t o n e d H o l y H Q, where I can fulminate as is my wont & pepper my Expostulations with as many expletives as I see fit without fear of being forcibly restrained & shipped off to the Funny Farm and a course of E.C.T!! I'll not bore you here with the full financial break down & pie charts itemising the cost of flying a wee auld woman all over the globe with a few hangers-on just so that she can wave at people (here's a wee link if you want to subject yirsel tae the full itemised horror of the bill!!! God Bless Ya, Ma'am! ) but I will add that the cost is immaterial anyway. One Royal Penny would be too much for something that Belittles and Infantilises us to the degree that it it does. Let us not forget that this woman is on State Benefits and has a large family of feckless spongers who, quite clearly, have no intention of getting a job!! Personally, I think the money they've poured into their little propaganda shindig of flotillas down the Thames & concerts outside Buckingham Palace & Equestrian Events & Parades of Pomp in a time of financial austerity for the rest of us is an affront!! We're All In This Together?? YOU'RE HAVIN' A FUCKIN' LAUGH, AINCHA!?!?!
As a failed Pop Slopper, it's true, I have only the perverse pleasure that is Schadenfreude to tickle my Twisted & Embittered fancy, but that's not the only reason that I say I do hope it fuckin' pisses down on their sad parade on Tuesday ;
It is in my resolute belief in Republicanism and steadfast adherence to that guiding tenet of Socialism that All Are Born Equal that I reject the ridiculous pantomime and bloated high camp farce of their shameful display. I reject their gaudy & tinselled procession, their tawdry & tacky show. I refute their outdated & absurd claim to privilige & entitlement and say unto thee it's time to Sweep All This Garbage Into The Historical Trashcan Where It Belongs!!
I must remember to stop reading newspapers....unless I've had my medication......pint of 80/- please Landlord!
